11 things every Coloradan wants to hear from visitors


That you’re so happy and content with where you live now.

So happy that you would never, ever, even for a moment, consider moving here.

That you got plenty of rest the night before and shouldn’t have any problems with the altitude.

Unless, of course, you’re young enough that you can still enact the ‘First chair, last call’ mantra without slowing everyone else down. No one wants to hear you complain. Always remember – there are no friends on a powder day and no bigger way to ruin one than to show up hungover. Keep your shit together, drink water, and we can become great friends.

That the beer just seems to have more soul here.

They say that competition drives progress. The craft beer scene in Colorado is as much proof of that as anyone could ever need, and I don’t see myself ever getting tired of reaping the benefits. Next round’s on me.

That you have plenty of water in your backpack.

This isn’t just to prevent a hangover. It’s for the other kind of headache, the one caused by thin air and strenuous exercise.

And you’re ready to get outside.

And we mean get outside all day, not this one hour then take a break nonsense.

That you totally think John Elway is the greatest quarterback of all time.

Even though you’re a Bears fan, you just have so much respect for the guy.

That you’re not here to smoke pot, and in fact didn’t even realize it was legal.

Just kidding. Everyone knows it’s legal. But for the love of god don’t panhandle with a sign that has a pot leaf on it.

The snow here is so much better than out on the west coast.

It’s just so fluffy, light, and dry!

That Denver has really ditched the Cowtown image and is a legitimate world-class city.

That A-Line! You guys are really stepping it up. As long as Denver can keep growing up and stop growing out, this place will be a real mecca of cosmopolitan, urban lifestyle.

That you are excited to check out the different areas of the state.

Not just cruise up I-70 to Summit County and call it good. Colorado is like a steep, rocky, windswept onion. There are multiple layers to it, and each one leads deeper and deeper into the core of what we’re all about.

That Aspen isn’t what you think of when picturing a ski town.

Gucci purses and fresh baked chocolate chip cookies have no place on the slopes. Please understand that the real Colorado ski culture isn’t like that.


Sunday, November 16, 2008

Wuzhen

On the outskirts of Hangzhou, the bus to Wuzhen pulled into a large, new, gleaming bus station. We were there for 10 minutes or so. No one got on or off. There was no one inside on the long rows of waiting-room chairs, and just a few people who seemed to work there. The place was surrounded by empty fields, but a short distance away was a cluster of what looked like high-rise apartment buildings, most of them under construction. It was eerie, a sort of mirror image of science fiction movie scenes of long-abandoned, crumbling cities. This was the yet-uninhabited ghost of a town waiting to be born, and for some reason, it had bus service.

I'd wanted to see a water town, the kind with canals and perhaps people in conical hats, but Wuzhen had just one canal and hordes of tour groups. It wasn't without its charms, though--the wooden buildings that lined the canal were both pretty and lived-in, and the residents hung their laundry out to dry with little concern for how many boatloads of tourists saw their underwear. There was an exhibit of money from around the world, which perhaps the waitress my last dinner would have enjoyed, but which I found rather random. I liked the exhibit on wood carvings, though, and the separate collection of elaborately carved beds.

On coming to Hangzhou I'd switched from my muddy hiking shoes to my other pair, a comfortable but pretty pair of purple ballet flats. I say "comfortable," but after two days of much walking my heels were feeling tender. So I took a bicycle rickshaw back from the old part of the village to the bus station, a distance probably a bit under a mile. It was the first time I'd taken anunmetered taxi, so I tried out my bargaining skills again. The man told me 10 yuan, I offered him 5, and he took it. I felt a little guilty about that--it's less than a dollar, a pretty paltry sum for being pulled across the village through someone else's physical effort.

I had to wait awhile for the next bus to Hangzhou. Some people in the terminal stared at me, and one teenage boy came and looked over my shoulder curiously as I wrote in my journal. I wasn't very far from either cosmopolitan Hangzhou orWuzhen's touristy old town, but they felt very distant.

If my trip to Wuzhen had been so-so, my evening back in Hangzhou made up for it. I ate at a vegetarian restaurant on Yanning Road that had, I think, the longest menu I'd ever seen. They apparently didn't actually have many of the things on the menu, but no matter. I ordered fake pork and corn juice on the waitress's suggestion, and fake shark's fin soup. The food was excellent. Along with the dishes atLamu's House of Tibet, it was the best I had in China. The bill came to 96 Yuan, more than 10 times what the previous night's dinner had cost, but still only $14.

After dinner I strolled through the lively night market in the square nearby. It was a little like Beijing's snack street, but with fewer snacks and more of other things, from furniture to fingernail clippers. From there I went down to the lake, where the paths are illuminated at night in a way that's downright romantic. There were fountains in the lake a short distance south of me, and I went to admire them.


1 “You Are Totally Having A Boy”

There are many myths out there that if a pregnant woman does she can find out the gender of her baby. One gender myth is that if she carries low she is having a boy and if its high she is having a girl.

According to pregnancymagazine.com, it is best to remember that this is just an old wives’ tale and there is no physical sign, nor other type of future telling method, to actually tell if a woman is having a boy or girl.

It is best not to tell her what she is having, unless she asks for someone’s opinion.


15 Things I Never Want to Hear the Gynecologist Say

Every year women make the trek to their gynecologist to get their hoods popped. Yearly maintenance of the parts and pieces is required to make sure that everything is in good working order. I don't necessarily mind the gynecologist, but I would be fine if we didn't speak at all during the visit. It's hard to make small talk when someone is pulling on your nipples like they're salt water taffy. The worst is when the doctor is elbow deep in uterus and they continue the conversation. My biggest fear is that the doctor will point out my imperfections while buck naked on the examination table, shooting a V in the stirrups.

Here is a list of 15 things I never want the gynecologist to say during an exam.

1: Have you ever considered waxing?
2. How many kids did you have? Wait, let me guess. Seven, did you have seven kids?
3. Someone forgot to do their Kegel exercises.
4. WOW! It's quite roomy in here. You have more space then the trunk of a Lincoln Continental.
5. No one looks the same after pregnancy, but I do know a guy who can fix you. (Points to entire body.)
6. Did your nipples always look in different directions? You know, like cock-eyed.
7. Are those stretch marks, or did a cat scratch the sh*t out of your ass?
8. You were probably pretty hot when you were younger. Do you have any pictures?
9. Did you breastfeed? Looks like your kids were hungry little wolves, weren't they?
10. Have you ever considered breast augmentation?
11. I'm sorry, that was the wrong hole. Give me a minute, I need to change my gloves.
12. Its like throwing a hot dog down a hallway in here. You know, there is a surgery to correct that.
13. You might feel some pressure, just kidding, this is going to hurt.
14. Stay right there, I lost my watch.
15. It looks like that tubal didn't work. Congratulations, you're pregnant.

I am happy that I only have to venture into that office once a year. I like keeping my cock-eyed nipples and roomy vagina a secret for the other 364 days.

Meredith is a work-from-home mother of three who writes about the inappropriate side of marriage and motherhood on her blog at That's Inappropriate Follow her on Facebook and Twitter.


11 Things You Should ​Always ​Tell Your New Partner​ Early On In Your Relationship

When you first start dating someone, it can feel like you want to tell each other everything. Whether you're out on a date, or lying in bed texting until 2 a.m., the convo never seems to die down as you ask questions and tell stories. But eventually, there will be things you should tell your new partner that don't come out as easily, and aren't as much fun to talk about.

While it's always OK to keep some parts of your life private, there are certain things you'll need to share, especially if you see this relationship going somewhere. You don't have to delve deep during your first date, or even during your first few months together. But eventually, you should consider telling each other about the tough stuff, like health problems and family issues.

It can be tricky at first, especially if you're worried about your significant other's reaction. But the more open you can be, the better your relationship will be. "Your partner should be a means of support," NYC-based therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW, tells Bustle. And being honest with each other is the best place to start.

You'll also want to know if there's something they won't be able to handle. "It’s important to say things early on because if your partner isn’t accepting or supportive, it’s better to know now so you can move on from the relationship," Hershenson says. With all that in mind, here are a few things you should consider talking about, when and if you're comfortable in your new relationship.


20 Things You Never Want To Hear Your Kids Say

There are few things as important to parents as communication with our kids. From the time they’re born we can’t wait to hear what they’re thinking. Like what’s going on in their heads when they spend 20 minutes laughing crazily at a beam of sunshine, and why do they insist on picking up things they find on pavement. We want them to understand us when we say, “Don’t draw on the dinner table—this is why we can’t have nice things!” and for them to be able to just tell us what’s bothering them instead of screaming inconsolable toddler-babble about it for two hours straight.

Of course I’m kidding (sort of), what we’re really waiting for are the I-love-yous and the bedtime songs, we’re listening for coos and babble to evolve into mama and dada. Eventually we hope to be lucky enough for them to grow older and feel they can to tell us what’s bothering them, and who understand us when we say, “Seriously, stop climbing on the furniture—this is why we STILL can’t have nice things!”

But with the good comes the not-so-good, and all too quickly we learn that every conversation isn’t going to be sunshine and rainbows. As much as we love the idea of communicating with our kids, there are some things we just never want to hear.

20 THINGS YOU NEVER WANT TO HEAR FROM YOUR KIDS

1. 45-minute recaps of their favourite TV programme.

2. “My sock is lumpy.

3. “I can’t find my shoe.”

4. Four-letter words they weren’t supposed to overhear.

5. In-depth descriptions of bodily functions.

6. Any confession involving pens, make up. It’s always an accident!

7. An honest opinion about your new haircut.

8. “Are we there yet? ” One of those irritating questions when you have only been in the car ten minuets.

9. One of those made up jokes that never make sense.

10. “I need” When said at bedtime. I need a drink, where is my teddy, can I have a cuddle. Just go to sleep!

11. Racy lyrics to a song that, in your defence, they didn’t hear the song at home.

12. Any indication they’ve noticed that shop you’re in has a toy aisle.

13. News that the class bear is coming home for the weekend. Its home work for the adults.

14. “Mummy, I dropped my toy again” coming from the backseat, 372 times in a row.

15. “Look, I cut my own hair!”

16. “No” That word drives me crazy when I ask them to do something.

17. “I’m not tired” Whilst yawning.

18. The whole nar nar na na na saying. Whether at home or to other children.

19. “I’m hungry” ten minuets after tea or when they see sweets in a shop.

20. “I need the toilet” Normally whilst someone else is already in the bathroom. Even more frustrating when you’re out in town and nowhere near a toilet.

Despite all of that, listening to children talk is precious. I never realised this until J came along. He has a speech delay. I noticed at 16 months old he wasn’t saying as much as his sister did at that age. The health visitors said not to worry, however when he was nearly two I raised my concerns again. He didn’t say a lot. They attempted a talk assessment but he wouldn’t cooperate.

The lack of speech can be a worry, since it tends to signal that your kid could have something else wrong with them. Speech delay can be due to various other problems including hearing loss. The health visitors sent us for hearing tests, the first one showed that he had glue ear. I expected him to end up with grommets. His second hearing test three months later showed that the glue ear had gone. He will however have another hearing test in four months. They didn’t get the whole test done due to distractions.

Time has gone by, he is now two and a half and his speech is so much better. He has had another talk assessment and he did really well. There were a few things he didn’t do so we discussed whether to refer him to speech therapy. I was happy to get him referred as there is a 16 week waiting list. By which time the health visitor thinks he wont need it. But we shall see. I rather him be in the system in case he does need it.

If your concerned that you child doesn’t talk as much as other kids their age, it is worth speaking to a health visitor or even a doctor. I totally recommend it, if I hadn’t of done things wouldn’t have been followed up.

I look forward to the day when we can have a full on conversation, even if it is about trains, cars or telling me all about his favourite program.

Another great parenting post to read is Parenting When You Are Impatient , you should have a read.


Watch the video: 10 Mind-Blowing Facts about Wyoming


Previous Article

18 signs you’ve been away from Buffalo too long

Next Article

30 photos of the American Southwest we can’t stop looking at