15 ways us locals know you’re not from Portland

1. Brunch is not a religion for you. Nor is it a necessity after last night’s shenanigans at Eastburn.

Over an hour wait for bacon and eggs?! To you, this may seem ridiculous. And it actually is. But Portlanders drink a lot. A lot. So most of the people you see brunching on Sunday afternoon are probably either hungover or still drunk.

2. Strip clubs make you uncomfortable.

Clearly you’re in the wrong city, as it’s a challenge not to turn a corner without being a stone’s throw away from a strip club. If you haven’t tossed some dollars for the dancers yet you haven’t really been to Portland.

3. You pronounce Couch Street wrong. And Willamette, for that matter.

Then can’t help snickering when you finally learn the correct way to say “Couch.”

4. You’re willing to wait an hour at VooDoo Doughnut for that Bacon Maple Bar concoction everyone’s been raving about.

We do like our doughnuts here, but we don’t go to VooDoo. Why? Because it’s for tourists. Plus, there are way better shops to appease that craving. But we won’t dare tell you where. For selfish reasons.

5. You carry an umbrella and complain about the weather.

Portlanders buy themselves a good waterproof coat and don’t fuss about the drizzle that you like to call rain.

6. You’re wearing high heels or a tie.

Here in Portland, it’s flannels and Chelsea boots all the way. Yup, we prefer to keep it casual. Unless you’re in the Pearl District, which is probably about as posh as it gets here.

7. You find IPAs way strong for your liking. And too hoppy

Sure they’re often too bitter for any sane person to enjoy but that’s how we like them. Though don’t feel too bad, it’s an acquired taste.

8. You get out to pump your gas.

Oregon is the only state besides New Jersey that has full service gas stations. Try pumping your own and you will just look like a fool.

9. You inadvertently throw trash into a compost.

Portland has an intricate system for compost and recycling so don’t fuck it up by throwing your non-biodegradable wrapper into the wrong bin. Oh yeah, and this is a BYOB (as in Bring Your Own Bag) kind of city, meaning reusable eco-friendly bags. NOT plastic bags.

10. You like Starbucks.

A city that takes coffee more seriously than most other things in life, we scoff at people who still support corporate caffeine when there are so many great local roasters here. Go to Coava Coffee Brew Bar. Go to The Albina Press. Anything but Starbucks.

11. You think Portlandia is funny.

Maybe when it was actually an exaggeration of Portland it was funny. But Portland has now branded itself as that very thing we used to enjoy mocking.

12. You go to Chinatown expecting an array of Chinese restaurants.

Wrong. Besides Chen’s Good Taste Restaurant and Red Robe Tea House, there are not a whole lot of options when it comes to Chinese food, ironically. Locals know that the Jade District is where it’s at when you’re hankering for some dim sum.

13. You appear lost and overwhelmed while navigating yourself around Powell’s City of Books.

First off, we simply refer to it as Powell’s. Second, we’ve been there so many times by now that we have our favorite genres memorized by floor level, color-coded room, and subsection.

14. You don’t stop for pedestrians when driving.

Shame on you. Portland is a pedestrian-friendly city.

15. You cringe at the mere mention of hiking, biking, climbing or anything outdoorsy for that matter.

Portland is a gateway for tons of great nature, like the Columbia River Gorge and Mount Hood. Our proximity to the outdoors is one of the reasons we love it here. If hiking and camping are not your thing, you’re kind of an oddball here.

Forward or Hold Your Mail

Are you making a temporary move or heading out of town? The U.S. Postal Service (USPS) can forward your mail to a new address or hold it at your local post office for a limited time.

Forward Your Mail

If your move is temporary, the USPS can forward your mail from your old address to a new one for 15 days to one year.

To get started, fill out an official USPS change of address form. This covers questions about the type of move, the mail forwarding start and end date, and more.

Hold Your Mail

If you'll be away for three to 30 days, USPS can hold your mail at your local post office until you return. You can typically request this service as early as 30 days in advance or as late as the day before you want the hold to start.

Begin by creating or signing in to your USPS account. You can check to see if hold mail service is available for your address and choose the dates for your hold mail request.

Note: USPS has added an extra one-time-only security measure for online hold mail requests. You'll need to verify your identity online through a mobile phone passcode. Or, you can request an identity verification passcode to be mailed to your address. If you're not able to complete the identity verification online, you can still place a hold on your mail by going to your local post office.

If you want your mail held for longer than 30 days, sign up for the USPS mail forwarding service.

For a permanent move, learn how to change your address with the USPS.

You Got the Vaccine! What Can You Do Now?

A guide to America’s awkward, semi-vaccinated months

The past 11 months have been a crash course in a million concepts that you probably wish you knew a whole lot less about. Particle filtration. Ventilation. Epidemiological variables. And, perhaps above all else, interdependence. In forming quarantine bubbles, in donning protective gear just to buy groceries, in boiling our days down to only our most essential interactions, people around the world have been shown exactly how linked their lives and health are. Now, as COVID-19 vaccines rewrite the rules of pandemic life once more, we are due for a new lesson in how each person’s well-being is inextricably tangled with others’.

This odd (and hopefully brief) chapter in which some Americans are fully vaccinated, but not enough of us to shield the wider population against the coronavirus’s spread, brings with it a whole new set of practical and ethical questions. If I’m vaccinated, can I travel freely? Can two vaccinated people from different households eat lunch together? If your parents are vaccinated but you’re not, can you see them inside? What if only one of them got both shots? What if one of them is a nurse on a COVID-19 ward?

After asking four experts what the vaccinated can do in as many ways as I could come up with, I’m sorry to report that there are no one-size-fits-all guides to what new freedoms the newly vaccinated should enjoy. Still, there is one principle—if not a black-and-white rule—that can help both the vaccinated and the unvaccinated navigate our once again unfamiliar world: When deciding what you can and can’t do, you should think less about your own vaccination status, and more about whether your neighbors, family, grocery clerks, delivery drivers, and friends are still vulnerable to the virus.

2. Install an anti-theft device

Investing in a cable locking device is much cheaper than replacing a catalytic converter, says Arantxa Chavarria, public information officer for the Long Beach, California, police department. The internet is filled with such devices to protect the catalytic converter, which is part of the exhaust system that runs along the bottom of your car. The anti-theft devices Sandman’s shop installs range from $250 to $800.

Here are a few of the popular devices:

A steel shield that fits over the catalytic converter, requiring time and extra tools to remove.

Cages made of rebar or other high-strength steel that's difficult to cut.

Stainless steel cables welded from the catalytic converter to the car’s frame.

Some muffler shops will custom-weld such a device to your car. But Sandman cautions that attaching the catalytic converter directly to the car’s frame can be noisy since the exhaust system otherwise is suspended from the car by sound-buffering hangers.

Watch the video: 50 People Show Us Their States Accents. Culturally Speaking. Condé Nast Traveler

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