5 commandments for dating a foreigner

1. Communicate.

As in all relationships, communication is key. However it becomes infinitely more important in a cross-cultural relationship.

If your romantic interest’s first language isn’t English, you will struggle at least to some degree with the language barrier. Be on guard for possible miscommunications, especially as conversations grow deeper. Talking about your hobbies in Spanish is one thing but expressing your heart is a whole different ballgame.

It’s not just lack of vocabulary that can cause trouble either; sometimes a word or phrase has been learned incorrectly. When I started dating my Dutch boyfriend, he would tell me things about his family and friends such as, “My sister wants to move to Asia,” and I would reply, “Wow, good for her.” One day after such a conversation my boyfriend stated, “You’re really rude sometimes.” Which is true — but just not in this particular moment. He said he disliked how I wasn’t genuinely happy for people. It turned out that he hadn’t learned that “good for her” can mean literally, good for her(!). He’d only ever heard with a sarcastic, bitter connotation. So communicate what you mean clearly and listen for feedback indicating that the person has understood you.

2. Keep an open mind.

If you’re going to date a foreigner, you’ve got to be open to different ways of doing just about everything. You like to flirt unabashedly? They might think you’re coming on too strong. You prefer gentle criticism? They might directly voice their opinions. You think it’s polite to ask lots of personal questions? They might be offended by your intrusiveness. You expect dessert to contain sugar? They might think your cheese platter appetizer is served too early.

Be ready to let go of preconceived notions and be flexible. While some differences will be amusing; others might really irritate. Communicate clearly when such differences arise. In the U.S. it might be awkward to say, “Hey, I thought it was kind of rude when you pushed ahead of me to enter the restaurant first.” But when your Czech admirer explains that that actually is chivalrous in his country — harkening back to the days when the gentleman would enter a building first to assess its safety — then you’ll probably feel a whole lot better about the date.

3. Do what your Momma and Aretha told you to do.

Kindness and respect are universal. They can be both conveyed and understood even if you speak absolutely zero words in the same language (although contrary to the happy ending between Colin Firth and his Portuguese housekeeper in Love Actually, I’m not sure embarking on a relationship with someone that you can’t even communicate ‘hello’ with is really the best idea). A little goes a long way in these areas and are paramount in prevailing against the ups and downs of a cross-cultural liaison.

4. Sacrifice.

Anyone considering jumping headlong into a relationship with a foreigner should be aware that it’s a journey not without its sacrifices. For one thing, there’s the geographic conundrum of choosing which person’s country to live in. One person will always be making the tremendous sacrifice of living in a foreign land, speaking a foreign language, and possibly navigating a complex Visa process.

While living abroad is exciting, it can be very lonely at times too — even with bae by your side. There are some things that they just won’t be able to help you with, like homesickness or feeling excluded from conversations if you don’t know the language yet.

There’s also the added factor of trying to integrate into your partner’s circle. Just because your better half is open to experiencing your culture and possibly language, doesn’t mean all of their family and friends will be so willing. Plus, assuming both people don’t already know the other’s mother tongue, one of you at some point will be downloading Duolingo, if only to talk to your S.O.’s grandmother. That’s hours and hours of study and practice to learn a language that’s maybe completely useless outside of say Finland.

5. Laugh.

There will be awkward moments, miscommunications, and cultural faux pas throughout the relationship. This is to be expected, but it’s really helpful if you are ready to laugh at yourselves when they do.

These blunders can be one of the unique joys of dating a foreigner. It’s quite humorous being at the grocery store and your partner blurts out, “Conservatives are terrible!” offending your politics — until you realize they meant “preservatives.” Or if your date incorrectly translates “royal summer palace” as, “The royal family has an outhouse.”

Other mistakes aren’t so easily laughed off, like when your guy or gal can’t find the words to explain something concisely and you become impatient. It’s important in these moments to take a breath and have compassion. It’s not easy speaking a foreign language!

At the end of the day, life is all about mistakes. It doesn’t really matter if the mistakes are normal relationship conflicts or the result of having different nationalities; if you can laugh together, you can get through life together.

5 commandments for dating a foreigner - travels

Featured In:

What is a Mail Order Bride?

The term “mail order bride” is synonymous with international dating. They are women – generally from Eastern Europe, Latin America, or Southeast Asia – who sign up for websites designed to help them meet foreign men, generally from the United States, Western Europe, or Australia online.

Expert Advice on Mail Order Brides and International Dating

When journalists and want to know the facts about mail order brides International Love Scout is one of their go to sources for authoritative information.

We often work with professors researching international dating, because they know we keep up with the current state of the industry and they realize we are trying to make international dating safer and more fulfilling for everyone involved. We keep up with the latest information and uncover the media’s attempts to falsely discredit the modern mail order bride movement.

Our answer to this is the recent academic research on international dating, because – believe it or not – the academics who actually study international dating are generally positive about it as a way for men and women to meet. Does that sound crazy to you?

Check out our academic research page and get the facts from unbiased experts: Recent Scholarly Research About International Dating

A Foreign Affair – Our Favorite Mail Order Bride Site

Overall, A Foreign Affair is our favorite all-around international dating site. Some of our readers find that hard to believe.

Their site looks like it was designed in 1995… because it was. They still use email as their primary form of communication between men and women.

Another issue is that their main URL is LoveMe.com, which confuses a lot of guys, but, despite those issues, A Foreign Affair is the oldest and most respected international dating agency and primarily because of the efforts of John Adams, A Foreign Affair’s President.

Here are John and his beautiful Russian bride, Tanya. They have been married for over twenty years.

John takes a hands-on attitude and has repeatedly impressed us with his concern for the success and well-being of the men and women he is introducing.

After more than twenty years in the business he still actually meets many of the men who take one of A Foreign Affair’s famous romance tours to Ukraine, Latin America, or Asia, and he is still enthusiastic about the benefits of international dating.

He is genuine and knowing that he is at A Foreign Affair makes them very easy to recommend.

They are far and away the most open dating site in the world. John has repeatedly opened their doors to journalists, filmmakers, and academics.

Many of these investigators started out wanting to expose the sort of mail-order bride “abuse” that have been repeatedly reported in the mainstream media.

But despite all of the effort, no one has been able to besmirch A Foreign Affair’s reputation. It is really pretty amazing.

Oh, and the last, and maybe the most important reason, we are big fans of AFA is that they actually help men and women meet the old-fashioned way – in person. Ultimately that is the point of all of this getting men and women together face to face.

Check out this video and I believe you will understand what makes A Foreign Affair special.

That is enough about scientific evidence, academic arguments, and media bias. You came here because you are interested in beautiful women, so let’s get on with the event: hundreds of the most beautiful women in the world

U.S. Department of State

Office of Allowances

Example of the Partial Flat Rate Method: If Per diem for U.S. post of assignment is $204 (Lodging portion $153, M&IE portion $51), allowable amounts for employee and each family member are as follow:

Lodging Flat Rate Maximum Portion

Initial Occupant (Empl. or Fam. Member 12 & over)

(100% of each portion) $153.00 $51.00

Each Add’l Occupant (12 & over)

(75% of each portion) $114.75 $38.25

Each Add’l Occupant (under 12)

(50% of each portion) $ 76.50 $25.50

If family consists of employee, spouse or domestic partner, one child 15 and one child 10, maximum up to the lodging limit would be $459 per day. Flat rate for family per day would be $153. Tax on lodging is reimbursed separately.

b. Total Actual Subsistence Method. Agencies may also allow only reimbursement for documented costs based on the maximum per diem (no breakdown between commercial lodging and meal and incidental expense portions for this type of calculation) according to the formula below. Receipts are required for commercial lodging and a certified statement (without receipts) is required for daily meals, laundry and dry cleaning. Lodging tax may be reimbursed separately. No reimbursement is allowed for non-commercial lodging other than for daily meals, laundry and dry cleaning. (See Section 960 FTA Worksheet)

For the initial occupant, whether employee or family member age 12 or over, a daily amount not in excess of the published maximum per diem rate for the locality from which transferred.

For each additional occupant, whether employee or family member age 12 or over, a daily amount not in excess of 75% of the published per diem rate for the locality from which transferred.

For each family member occupant under age 12, a daily amount not in excess of 50% of the published per diem rate for the locality from which transferred.

What I've learned from dating a Filipino woman

I decided it was time for a serious change in my life, so I saved for a year, sold my car and anything else that could be sold, bought a one-way ticket and left the UK with nothing but my backpack. It was whilst travelling through Laos by motorbike with my best friend that I stumbled across this young Filipino backpacker.

I instantly felt she was different from all of the girls I met while backpacking, and we hit it off straight away. Although we went our separate ways shortly after, we kept in touch. After two months, Kach came to visit me in Hanoi for two weeks, where I had set myself up as an English teacher. Well, two weeks has since turned into almost two years, 7 countries, many random jobs and countless stories to tell!

Whilst I traveled quite a bit as a child, with my parents working in Africa, when you travel as an adult you see things differently and it changes you – sometimes in very subtle ways, sometimes more obviously. However, when you’re in a long-term relationship with someone from another country and culture, then you begin to see the differences much more clearly. (READ: 10 Commandments for your next travels)

Being from the United Kingdom, you inevitably become accustomed to Western ways and of course in turn, Western women. Having left Britain some time ago and having now been with Kach for over a year, I thought I’d reflect on some of the things I’ve learned being in a relationship with a Filipina and how I may have changed in the process.

Open arms. Open doors . In the UK, if a person, known or unknown, were to arrive at your door, for what we’ll assume is some good and honest reason, then you would at first be a little suspicious. ‘They must want something from me,’ you would think, or even more sadly, ‘What? A person? At my door? How strange!’

What the Visa Expiration Date Means

The visa expiration date is shown on the visa along with the visa issuance date. The time between visa issuance and expiration date is called your visa validity. The visa validity is the length of time you are permitted to travel to a port-of-entry in the United States.

Depending on your nationality, visas can be issued from a single entry (application) up to multiple/unlimited entries.

  • A visa issued for a single entry (denoted on the visa under “Entries” with the number 1) is valid, or can be used from the date it is issued until the date it expires to travel to a U.S. port-of-entry one time.
  • A visa issued for multiple entries (denoted under “entries” with a certain number (2, 3, etc.) or “M” for multiple/unlimited entries) is valid, or can be used from the date it is issued until the date it expires to travel to the U.S. port-of-entry as many times as your visa states, provided that:
    • Applying for a new visa is not necessary if your visa has not expired and you have not exceeded the number of entries permitted on your visa.
    • Multiple uses of a visa must be for the same purpose of travel allowable on the type of visa you have.

Please be aware, a visa does not guarantee entry to the United States. Additionally, the visa expiration date shown on your visa does not reflect how long you are authorized to stay within the United States. Entry and the length of authorized stay within the United States are determined by the Customs and Border Protection (CBP) Officer at the port-of-entry each time you travel.

It is important to note that there are circumstances which can serve to void or cancel the period of visa validity. If you overstay the end date of your authorized stay, as provided by the CBP officer at a port-of-entry, or United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS), your visa will automatically void or cancel unless,

  • You have filed an application in a timely manner for an extension of stay or a change of status,
  • That application is pending and not frivolous,

If you have applied for adjustment of status to become a permanent resident (LPR, also called green card holder), you should contact USCIS regarding obtaining Advance Parole before leaving the United States.

Watch the video: 5 Dating Red Flags In Japan For Foreigners

Previous Article

18 signs you’ve been away from Buffalo too long

Next Article

30 photos of the American Southwest we can’t stop looking at