10 commandments for dating a Portland girl


Thou shalt not liveth in Beaverton.

Live in Sellwood or even in St Johns. But live in the suburban sprawl that is Beaverton and your life choices seem questionable to us.

Thou shalt know how to make her a morning coffee using the most pretentious brewing methods possible.

We shall appreciate your talent for brewing beans with that retro glass pour-over machine. Just make sure the beans are freshly ground.

Thou shalt refrain from taking us to a strip club on the first date. Or the second date.

An evening at Union Jacks Club does not pass for a date. Well, at least not the first few. This is Portland, after all.

Thou shalt be not be a meathead.

Your obsession with dumbbells and protein powder make for a boring conversation. Sorry bros, cantaloupe-sized biceps don’t impress us.

Thou shalt have some other form of employment besides thy homebrewing “business.”

We sometimes want to go on a date that involves an activity other than sipping homemade pilsner in your backyard.

Thou shalt be versed in outdoor activities such as climbing, hiking, and cycling.

Because what else do sane people do around here?

Thou shalt avoid growing facial hair of Charles Manson proportions.

Get yourself over to Bishops Barbershop. We really don’t want to deal with post-makeout beard burn.

Thou shalt never wear skinny jeans that are tighter than ours.

Unless you can really pull it off.

Thou shalt love thy DIY guitar we built for thee. From a flower box.

Obviously we spent some time making you a gift from whatever recyclable junk we had laying around, so at least pretend to love it.

Thou shalt be in a band. Even if it’s a shitty one.

Learn some form of musical talent. Most likely, it’ll get you laid here.


10 commandments for dating a Portland girl - travels

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10 commandments for dating a Portland girl - travels

Photographer Amy travels to a remote lodge to find mythical waterfalls and falls for handsome guide, Mark. They adventure to find the mystic waterfall and discover their true feelings. Stars Cindy Busby and Christopher Russell.

Don't Go Breaking My Heart

Miranda runs a boot camp for the recently broken hearted. She begins to form a connection with new client Ben who is also a reporter, investigating whether her boot camp is a fad or a phenomenon. Stars Italia Ricci, Ryan Paevey.

Elizabeth's engagement plans are thrown into disarray when her fiancée's free-spirited brother David returns home. David's unexpected influence prompts Elizabeth to question her life decisions. Stars Erin Krakow, Tyler Hynes.

A promising seamstress designs dresses for a Charity Ball hoping to impress the royal guest. Though the dresses seem destined for disaster, the two still may manage to find their happily ever after. Natalie Hall, Jonathan Keltz.

As she considers giving up on her artistic dreams, Jamie paints a vision board that brings her success and love - only to discover that the mystery man in her painting isn't who she thinks. Stars Arielle Kebbel, Nick Bateman.

A country western star returns to his hometown to sell his childhood home prior to his wedding. Upon his arrival, he meets the girl he proposed to when he was 8-years-old and she helps plan the wedding in his fiances absence.

When an aspiring chef lands an assistant job at her idol's restaurant, she's convinced her big break is just around the corner. After a rocky start, she befriends the handsome executive chef and they begin bonding in the kitchen.

A Godwink Christmas: Meant for Love

A series of unlikely coincidences and a little Christmas magic bring two strangers together while on a road trip, at a wedding, and in the pursuit of their dreams. Stars Cindy Busby, Ben Hollingsworth, Kathie Lee Gifford.

Sarah, a wedding planner in New York, is hired to plan the most anticipated wedding of the season. But the bride wants the wedding to be on the family farm which is now being run by her older brother who happens to be Sarah's ex.

A best-selling novelist writing under a pen name moves to Portland and unknowingly falls in love with the biggest critic of his latest book. When true identities are revealed, both must take a leap of faith.

When Maggie Marks faces a career decision, she flees to Europe for some soul searching. There she encounters a handsome European playboy prince, and lands herself in a world she has never known and finds a new direction in life.

Samantha's Montana ranch is her family's legacy, so when a developer shows up to buy it, Sam isn't interested. But as he tries to win her trust and her ranch, Sam finds he might also be winning her heart. Erin Krakow, Ryan Paevey.

When an ambitious doctor books an overdue vacation for some much needed R&R and bonding with her teenage daughter, the time away will have her questioning if this island holds the promise of something more.

Gabby moves to Bright Shore where she opens a restaurant and rediscovers her passion. She encounters Caleb, a former baseball player with a competitive streak who owns his own restaurant. Stars Roselyn Sanchez, Eric Winter.

Fired from her job as a reality TV host, Natalie returns home for Valentine's Day, only to find herself running the town festival's auction with her ex-fiance thanks to two scheming mothers. Bethany Joy Lenz, Luke Macfarlane.

Princess Carly, working incognito at a ski resort, must team up with the owner's brother, Jesse, to plan the resort's 50th anniversary celebration. Stars Natalie Hall, Chris McNally.

A romance novelist falls in love with a retired Navy SEAL while researching her newest book.

A young caterer's life suddenly changes when she inherits a country home and learns she must share it with a career-obsessed Wall Street trader. Sparks fly when they have to work side-by-side.

Brian and Jenny are engaged and preparing for the grand opening of their bed and breakfast. But when a big storm hits Bucks County, all their plans end up sopping wet.

All of My Heart: The Wedding

Brian and Jenny are planning their wedding at the Inn where they fell in love. When a distant relative arrives and stakes their claim to the Inn, Brian and Jenny must find a way to save their beloved Inn or risk having to sell.

Tia's dream job of captaining a dining cruise hits rough water when her ex Jake is hired as the restaurant's chef. Will they be able to open a new business, navigate the sea, and each other? Stars Autumn Reeser & Brennan Elliott.

When journalist Julia goes back home to find inspiration, she discovers her childhood friend has built a giant snow maze which prompts her to find her way to true love. Stars Jessy Schram and Marshall Williams.

A high-powered executive lies about her career on her dating profile, while her match also hides his true identity. Stars Erika Christensen, Paul Greene and Antonio Cupo.

Mina has everything going for her, but her world is suddenly turned upside down when work sends her to her hometown in Tennessee to convince an old, stubborn restaurant owner to sell his property.


Watch the video: The Specials - 10 Commandments Lyric Video


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