Your handy language guide to extremely dirty Portuguese

1. In dirty Portuguese, a place is not just ‘extremely far away’, it is in ‘Saint Cunt of Whistles’ (Santa cona dos assobios), or in ‘the oldest cock’ (no caralho mais velho).

2. In dirty Portuguese, two people are not ‘really similar’, one’s ‘face is the others’ ass’ (a cara de um é o cu do outro).

3. In dirty Portuguese, a person doesn’t ‘waste your time’, he ‘does not fuck or gets out from the top’ (não fode nem sai de cima).

4. In dirty Portuguese, something doesn’t ‘have no value’, it is ‘not worth a cock’ (não vale um caralho).

5. In dirty Portuguese, that guy who is always trying to please your boss is not an ‘ass licker’, he is a ‘suck dicks’ (chupa pilas).

6. In dirty Portuguese, you do not tell someone they ‘cannot have what they want’, you tell them to ‘suck on the fifth leg of a horse’ (mama na quinta pata de um cavalo).

7. In dirty Portuguese, we do not tell you to ‘get lost,’ we tell you to ‘put yourself on the whores’ (põe-te nas putas).

8. In dirty Portuguese, we do not say that ‘the same stupid thing we were laughing about earlier that happened to you also happened to us’, we say ‘I laughed, I fucked myself’ (ri-me, fodi-me).

9. In dirty Portuguese we do not say ‘stop bothering me’, we say ‘do not fuck my head’ (não me fodas a cabeça).

10. In dirty Portuguese, we do not say ‘that place you are looking for is at the end of the world’, we say ‘it’s in Judas’s ass’ (cu de Judas).

11. In dirty Portuguese we do not ‘hope something bad happens to you’, we ‘wish that a pine tree grows in your ass’ (havia de te nascer um pinheiro no cu).

12. In dirty Portuguese, things aren’t ‘really old’, they’re ‘older than shitting’ (isso é mais velho que o cagar).

13. In dirty Portuguese, you are not ‘making a mess’, you are ‘setting the whore’ (armar a puta).

14. In dirty Portuguese, you do not tell someone to ‘go to hell’, you tell them to ‘go to cock’ (vai para o caralho).

15. In dirty Portuguese, you do not say ‘I don’t care’, you say ‘I am shitting myself’ (estou-me a cagar).

16. In dirty Portuguese, you do not say ‘I’m not going to do anything else today’, you say ‘I will not even do another cock’ (não faço nem mais um caralho).

17. In dirty Portuguese, you do not tell someone to ‘man up’, you tell them to ‘stop being a little cunt’ (deixa de ser coninhas).

18. In dirty Portuguese, when you feel surprised you do not say ‘wow,’ you say ‘fuck it!’ (Foda-se!)

19. In dirty Portuguese, a person is not ‘boring’ or ‘uninteresting’, he is a ‘cunt of soap’ (cona de sabão).

Portuguese Camino final thoughts

It was our first Camino de Santiago though we’d done many hikes before the Camino is a completely different experience. It was our longest uninterrupted hike and we didn’t know what to expect. The great thing about any Camino is that anybody can do it no matter how fit or unfit you’re, just choose your pace and daily distance and you’ll be able to reach Santiago, it might take you one or three weeks but who cares!

People walk the Camino with different intentions and reasons, for some, it’s a pilgrimage with a religious background, some want to have some time to think, some people like us just like hiking, for others it’s a great and budget way to see a country and hundreds of other reasons.

Regarding our Camino choice, first of all, we didn’t want to walk a very crowded way so not the French Way, second, we started in mid-May which is a good time for walking in this region it was already warm but not too hot. Third, the Portuguese route goes through the parts of Spain and Portugal that we haven’t been to. We did like this walk and it inspired us to do more Caminos de Santiago in the nearest future. Buen Camino!

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12 Brazilian Portuguese Phrases You Need To Know Before You Visit Brazil

Brazilian Portuguese is essentially Portuguese, yet with local colloquialisms that differentiate it slightly from other Portuguese-speaking countries (think of the difference between American and British English, it’s similar). If you have your dream holiday to Brazil coming up, it’s handy to arrive armed with the following essential phrases. Brazilians love it when tourists try speaking Portuguese, so have a go and make some new friends in the process.

‘Oi’ literally just means ‘hi’ in Portuguese, and has no similarity to the dismissive and rude ‘oi’ in English. It is more informal than ‘ola’ that means ‘hello’ but it’s used in almost every situations from in shops and on public transport, to greeting friends or business acquaintances. Whenever you meet someone, greet them with an ‘oi’.

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