No, we’re not talking about the fruit here. First and foremost, Australians love to hate those friendly folks from the country below them in geography (and value, in their opinion). New Zealanders flock to Australia to live, work, and complain about how much better their home country is. If it’s so much better, well, fine, go home already!
If you’ve ever seen someone walking around in board shorts, flip flops, and a down puffy jacket in 75 degree weather, they were probably from Down Under. This sun-stained species cannot stomach a cool breeze, let alone something that resembles an actual winter.
Most countries tend to smack talk their leaders to some degree, but Aussies have really turned this trend into an art form. Their current Prime Minister, Tony Abbott, has truly taken the cake for fueling this past time. Just do a quick Google search and jokes like this one are sure to top the list:
Q. What’s the difference between a picture of Kim Jong Un and a picture of Tony Abbott holding a potato?
A. One is a dictator and the other is a dick’n’tater.
Yes, who doesn’t hate warm beer? But in a country where beer is probably consumed more than water and temperatures are always soaring, warm beer is especially dreadful. If the bottle is not frosted, don’t take it out of the esky. As soon as you take it out, drink it quickly. Simple. As. That.
If you’ve ever visited the land of drop bears and kangaroos, you’ve uttered these words to some completely unamused local. Why is it so annoying to them? 1) They call shrimp “prawns” and 2) they eat them cold.
Whether they know it or not, Australians love to hate the letter R. While they can pronounce the ‘Rrrrrr’ sound properly when it comes at the start of words, they seem to struggle when it’s found elsewhere. Would you like a sip of wata? Or maybe a trip to Aye’s Rock?
It definitely sucks for any person when you take a step and feel the rubber strap of your sandal burst through its foam sole. However, when you only own that one pair of pluggers (remember the silent R), this can be absolutely detrimental. Thongs (yes, the sandal kind) are a staple in any Aussie’s footwear collection. A good pair of Havaianas and you’re set for all seasons…until it blows out, and you’re left barefoot in the middle of the outback.
Tourists all seem to think that kangaroos are cute and adorable, but Aussies know that they are really rather pesky and annoying creatures. In the eyes of Australians, kangaroos are only good for two things: violently damaging the front of your car when they jump out from nowhere, and eating slightly smoked and smothered in delicious marinade.
“Foster’s: Australian for beer.” Or is it? Although Foster’s has proudly been supported by the legendary Paul Hogan (a.k.a. Crocodile Dundee), it was founded back in 1888 by two men from New York. Nowadays, it is very rare to find an Aussie who claims Foster’s as their beer of choice, let alone the brand representative of the whole bloody country.
With only seven states, Australia has intense inner-continental rivalry. Aussies generally hate anyone living south of wherever they live. The Northern Territory bags on Queensland; Queensland wants nothing to do with New South Wales; New South Wales knows they are better than Victoria; Victoria can’t stand being so close to South Australia, and as mentioned above, everyone hates the Kiwis. And let’s not forget everyone also takes a crack at the Australian Capital Territory (where the good old Tony resides), Western Australia, and of course, Tasmania.
Cane toads were brought over from Hawaii to eat the sugarcane beetles destroying the sugarcane crops, but instead they left the beetles alone and ate all native pests instead. Now the Aussies are left trying to clean up this horrible mess of a species that keeps killing all the local wildlife. They are so adamant about demolishing the cane toads that you can find depositories all over the place to dispose of any you might catch and not want to smash on your own. Have a hankering for Frogger? Head down under for a little real life action edition…
This list would not be complete without at least one other beer-related thing that Australians love to hate — last drinks call at the pub. When this horrifying sentence leaves the lips of the bartender, Aussies feel a mix between a rush of hatred towards the bartender and sheer panic. They head up to the bar and buy about five more beers…then get kicked out before they even finish the third.